So I am, in fact, resolved to spend the next three weeks putting effort into revising Edge so that I can write Circles for Nanowrimo.  At this point, I feel as though I need to get the entire story revised and ready to go before posting the next part of this, as I've made so many hopeful promises to readers as to now have absolutely zero credibility.  So, lacking that external motivation, I am seeking another.  Will you all please yell at me if I don't post that I've gotten a lot of editing done by next week?

Author: Lurker2209
Spoilers: Through Razor, a few references to S4. Nothing for 4.5  (Unless name of the Ring ship is a spoiler!)
Characters/pairing: OC heavy, ultimately K/L
Warnings: Overall it's rated R, for mature themes, violence, profanity, etc
Disclaimer: The show belongs to Ron and Sci-fi, et al. But Petra is all mine!
Summary: What if rough patches are all you’ve ever known?  For more a decade the fleet has wandered the wilderness of stars.  The hope of promised Earth dims.  Destruction seems inevitable, either by the overwhelming force of the cylon armada, or the ravage of cold space.  Humanity grows desperate, none so desperate as young Petra Thrace.   Survival is a game she knows well, even if it is always rigged against her.   “If you wanna to survive here, you gotta always remember one thing: Nobody gives a frak.”

A/N: I know, it's been almost two months.  I think things are going to be better now; I know I've said that before, but this is different.  To be really honest with you guys, I was depressed for about a year.  Writing was one of the only things I could actually get done for a while. But then the flaws in the manuscript seemed so overwhelming and even writing was a struggle.   Everything in real life got really crazy, I finally got a lot of help, and I'm finally myself again.   I took some time to really focus on getting my real life grad school stuff back together and now I'm back to writing and editing and enjoying it all so much. 

I want to thank my awesome beta's :

artemis90 and uberscribbler !  And I want to dedicate this chapter to two new readers who reviewed in late May and reassured me that people are still reading and still care about this story:  greycoupon  and lalovesleeadama

 

 

 

( People lie. They tell you they’ll be good to you if you don’t make trouble and then hit you when the baby cries.  )

 

A/N:  I messed up the direction of gravity when I first posted this.  Should have checked my notes instead of working off memory.  Basically, when you're standing on the ring ship, your head is pointing towards the center of the ring, not out towards space. I've fixed the references now.   To be a little technical, the floor of the elevator room is level to allow the elevator to function, but since the edges of that level section are further from the center than the middle, they have less gravitational force and feel 'downhill'.   The rest of the ship has a curved floor, so the force of gravity is even everywhere and it feels 'flat'.  If you're interested in the details, see this site.  http://www.projectrho.com/rocket/rocket3u.html   Maybe someday I'll come back and play with the weird Coriolis effects.  A game of darts in spin gravity would take special skill! 

Author: Lurker2209
Spoilers: Through Razor, a few references to S4. Nothing for 4.5
Characters/pairing: OC heavy, ultimately K/L
Warnings: Overall it's rated R, for mature themes, violence, profanity, etc
Disclaimer: The show belongs to Ron and Sci-fi, et al. But Petra is all mine!
Summary: What if rough patches are all you’ve ever known?  For more a decade the fleet has wandered the wilderness of stars.  The hope of promised Earth dims.  Destruction seems inevitable, either by the overwhelming force of the cylon armada, or the ravage of cold space.  Humanity grows desperate, none so desperate as young Petra Thrace.   Survival is a game she knows well, even if it is always rigged against her.   “If you wanna to survive here, you gotta always remember one thing: Nobody gives a frak.”
A/N: For the record, I wrote this in November for Nanowrimo, long before 4.5 aired.  I'm psychic.  And evil, I suppose.
Big thank-you as always to my beta's,

artemis90 and uberscribbler!  Also thank-you to everyone who is reading and commenting despite my erratic posting.

 

( Part B )

So I was in Barnes and Noble and saw this little book called Echoes of New Caprica and it looked really awesome.  I mean BSG Manga, how cool is that?  And one of the stories is about Kara and Kacey and the beginning of it looked really cute, so I bought it.

( Not what I expected...spoilers for the graphic novel )

I've had a playlist for this story since before I ever wrote a word of it, but putting together the 'soudtrack' was an excuse to pare it down to my favorites and have some fun with photoshop.  I've included my favorite lyric from each song and a quote from the part of the story the song fits with.  Most of these are from chapters that haven't been posted, so they're teasers!

Author: Lurker2209
Spoilers: Through Razor, a few references to S4. Nothing for 4.5
Characters/pairing: OC heavy, ultimately K/L
Warnings: Overall it's rated R, for mature themes, violence, profanity, etc
Disclaimer: The show belongs to Ron and Sci-fi, et al. But Petra is all mine!
Summary: What if rough patches are all you’ve ever known?  For more a decade the fleet has wandered the wilderness of stars.  The hope of promised Earth dims.  Destruction seems inevitable, either by the overwhelming force of the cylon armada, or the ravage of cold space.  Humanity grows desperate, none so desperate as young Petra Thrace.   Survival is a game she knows well, even if it is always rigged against her.   “If you wanna to survive here, you gotta always remember one thing: Nobody gives a frak.”
Cross-posted: to

beyond_insane and bsg2003fics 

 

A/N: Sorry it's been so long.  I rewrote this chapter like five times, before realizing that the original was actually better than most of the rewrites. Stupid obsessive perfectionism! I do edit chapters from my massive rough draft as a whole, and then post them in segments for length, so the other two parts of this chapter are ready to go. Which means regular updates for the next two weeks. 
Thanks goes toartemis90  and uberscribbler  for being awesome beta's.  Also for everyone who has ever commented on the story.  You are all awesome!

Chapter 3: Fugitives

( Chapter 3, Part A )









To see the 'Edge Soundtrack' click here.

Cut for spoilers

( Reaction )

From riyirowe who apparently got it from facebook.  But this is the sort of thing I'd rather have on lj.


( Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. )

Author: Lurker2209
Spoilers: Through Razor, a few references to S4. Nothing for 4.5
Characters/pairing: OC heavy, ultimately K/L
Warnings: This chapter is rated PG-13, as a whole the story is R, for mature themes, violence, profanity, etc
Disclaimer: The show belongs to Ron and Sci-fi, et al. But Petra is all mine!
Summary: What if rough patches are all you’ve ever known?  For more a decade the fleet has wandered the wilderness of stars.  The hope of promised Earth dims.  Destruction seems inevitable, either by the overwhelming force of the cylon armada, or the ravage of cold space.  Humanity grows desperate, none so desperate as young Petra Thrace.   Survival is a game she knows well, even if it is always rigged against her.   “If you wanna to survive here, you gotta always remember one thing: Nobody gives a frak.”
Cross-posted: to beyond_insane and bsg2003fics 

A/N: This post ends Chapter Two.  The first post of Chapter Three should be up within two weeks, if not sooner.  Each of the chapters will be three or four posts, due to their length.
Thanks goes to artemis90   and uberscribbler for being awesome beta's.  Also for everyone who has ever commented on the story.  You are all awesome!

( If Lee had wanted to see me he would have found me... )

Ok, thoughts on the lovely existential No Exit behind the cut

( I'm Psychic! )

New episode, random thoughts behind the cut.  No spoilers, not even for the

( Read more... )

Author: Lurker2209
Spoilers: Through Razor, a few references to S4. Nothing for 4.5
Characters/pairing: OC heavy, ultimately K/L
Warnings: This chapter is rated PG-13, as a whole the story is R, for mature themes, violence, profanity, etc
Disclaimer: The show belongs to Ron and Sci-fi, et al. But Petra is all mine!
Summary: What if rough patches are all you’ve ever known?  For more a decade the fleet has wandered the wilderness of stars.  The hope of promised Earth dims.  Destruction seems inevitable, either by the overwhelming force of the cylon armada, or the ravage of cold space.  Humanity grows desperate, none so desperate as young Petra Thrace.   Survival is a game she knows well, even if it is always rigged against her.   “If you wanna to survive here, you gotta always remember one thing: Nobody gives a frak.”
Cross-posted: to

beyond_insane and bsg2003fics 
A/N: You'd be completely justified in assuming I had abandoned this story.  I'm excited to say it's complete, all 70,000+ words of it, due to the wonder of NaNoWriMo.  I'll be posting once a week or so, as I continue to edit. As the chapters are novel-length, each is divided into several posts. I want to also give a big shout-out to artemis90 and uberscribbler  for being awesome beta's.

 

( Previous Chapters )
 ( Nobody gives a frak )

I look high right now.  Or hung over.  Or something else like that.  I'm not, but my eyes are bloodshot and they get that way about half the times I put my contacts in.  This has been happening since fall, and before that I've never had problems, even when I was wearing the contacts 18 hours a day.   Since September, I've been wearing my glasses a lot.   Oddly enough, over Christmas break I wore my contacts a lot with no problems. 

Today I finally made the connection.  Over Christmas break, I ran out of allergy meds.  And this summer, was when I started using it regularly.  I googled the side effect and sure enough, the nasal spray steroid can cause dry, red eyes.   In my case, my body compensates when I'm wearing glasses, but the contacts make it worse. 

I guess I need to see the doctor and see if there's another allergy medicine that can help me that won't dry my eyes out. Which sucks since this one worked really well at keeping me from getting congested.  Sigh.

This may be something that everyone else has known about for forever, but I finally found a video game where my complete lack of hand-eye coordination doesn't matter!  Yay!

http://www.mazapan.se/games/BurnTheRope.php

I made it!

Look at the pretty banner!




See: all 50000+ words!




Now I just have to actually finish the story!  And edit it.  An torture my betas with the rewrites.  December is going to be so much fun!

Your results:
You are Yoda

Yoda 62% R2-D2 61% Obi-Wan Kenobi 59% Qui-Gon Jinn 58% Princess Leia 51% Chewbacca 50% Luke Skywalker 49% Han Solo 49% Darth Maul 49% An Ewok 48%

Wise and all knowing you are…yes. Tall, dark, and handsome? Not so much I'd say.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz

I'm pretty sure I'm depressed.  I'm very good at distracting myself from it.  (Hello NaNoWriMo!)

The truth I can barely admit to myself is that I haven't gotten anything done, research--wise in weeks.  I am months behind where my advisor expects me to me. I simply cannot bring myself to do the experiments that need to be done.

Thursday Pradip said he wanted to meet with me to talk about my project.  I spent the whole weekend freaking out because I know I've got like nothing to show him.  Nothing new--practically none of the gels and expression stuff I need to have. Friday I was a mess.  Saturday I just repressed it.  I'm remarkably non-depressed when I can get myself to think about something else, like projects to do around my apartment and writing and random stuff on the internet.  But then at night, I think about how horrible all of this is how screwed I am.  So I try to stay up really late so I'm so tired I can be all stressed and anxious.  Of course, then I don't get enough sleep.  I've been doing that for months really.  I just pushed through it and got stuff done before.

So the meeting today.  I tried to put a positive spin on things.  I thought maybe I'd talk about what I wanted to do and try to get a purchase order for some things I'd like to buy to move at least one aspect of this project forward.  The part where I actually feel like I know what I'm doing.   But of course Pradip wanted to see my data and notebooks and I just sort of admitted I wasn't getting anywhere.    He said I have three options:  decide that grad school isn't for me, decide I need another environment, like another differnt advisor, or figure out a way to push through it and get things going again.  I like the last option; the only thing more terrifying than trying to get myself back on track at this point is trying to figure out something else to do.  And I hate giving up and I think there's something wrong with me that's big enough that it's going to be an issue whereever I go.

So I looked up the Hall Health mental help number and called them.  From the phone in the hallway of Bagley, because I left my cell phone at home and just really don't care if a bunch of undergrads waiting for class hear me tell some stranger who answers the phone that I'm failing at life and can't figure out how to fix it.   They got me in right away---like 10:30.  I talked to a lady, I think she's a crisis counselor? 

That helped. A lot.  I think I'm afraid of admitting that I don't know what I"m doing.  Like I know what experiments need to be done, but I don't know exactly how to do some of them.  She thinks I might need more structure.  I know Pradip is not really going to do that.  He is hands off and that's just who he is.  But he's been talking about doing regular weekly meetings with people so if we started that it might help me get back on track. 

The other thing I've been thinking about is having someone who could talk to me or text me or e-mail me at the end of each day and ask if I'd gotten done what I needed to get done.  Just to have a little more external motivation and accountability until I get the internal motivation back.

The crisis counselor ( I just looked her up, she's really a therapy intern.  She was really good for an intern.  I guess that's why I got in to see her right away) also thinks that some of the whole sleeping thing (more like the not wanting to sleep thing) might be related to an anxiety problem.  I'm not sure if the lack of motivation is causing the anxiety, or if the anxiety itself is some sort of root problem.  But there might be medication for that.  At this point I'll do anything that works.

I have an apointment with a therapist on Wednesday. Hopefully that will go well.  I think I have a better idea of what's wrong with me from talking to the intern.  I just have no idea how to fix it. 

And Pradip wants to meet again on Thursday or Friday.  I feel like I should be able to fix myself and somehow get all caught up on my research by then, but I don't know how that's going to happen.

I can't believe I'm actually going to post this.  I'm so tempted to just delete the entire thing.  I don't think I could ever say this to anyone's face.  But there's something about livejournal that makes me braver.

So, I'm doing NaNoWriMo, for those of you who don't know this already. Goodness knows my roommate does. I just can't seem to shut up about word counts and pacing and where I want the story to be. I'm probably driving her nuts. So, I thought I'd post here. It's been going really, really well. I've written at least 2000 words each day so far and as of yesterday I was 4000 words ahead of pace. Which is good, because my sister is visiting this weekend, and I probably won't write much, if at all.



( More about the story... )

I voted. Not today, but like a week ago. I checked that whole 'permanent absentee' box. And then I mailed it, and had this sinking feeling that I'd forgotten to sign the outside. But I didn't think there was much of anything I could do about it.

But today I got a letter in the mail. They have a form you fill out if you forget to sign your ballot. You mail it back in a prepaid envelope with a photocopy of your driver's license. And your vote still counts. I'm not sure that really matters in the grand scheme of things, but I feel better about living in a world where they really go to a lot of effort to make my vote count.